Copyright held by the Manhattan Experimental Theater Workshop
View Permission for Production Policy
Written by Raynal Cherenfant, Megan Clark, Amanda Paez & Ian Shea
Performed by Megan, Amanda & Ian
Directed by Gwethalyn Williams
Under the influence of Susan-Lori Parks
Gepetto: In finding the block of wood, he would find his future.
(Rest)
When the wood be knotty a naughty boy would he be.
(Rest)
Once there was a wood carver who found a block of wood. Jiminy Cricket! Well look-a-here! A glass marble! The same brown of my Pinnochio's eyes. And the woodcarver carved the wood. He made peepers for peepin' and a honker for honkin' that grew and grew. The woodcarver made a little puppet boy, but you'll hafta scuze him on a count a he's only cloth and wood. The splinters in his brain made him a mischievous puppet, but a good 'un.
(enter A )
A: Gepetto! Gepetto! Have you heard what your puppet has done?
Gepetto: Tell me what my dear Pinocchio has done!
A: Pinnochio came to me and asked me for food and drink, and I took pity on him like a fool! I allowed him to drink the sweet sweet buttermilk from my jugs, and when your terrible puppet had his fill he broke my jugs and spilled all of my sweet sweet buttermilk, and when I asked him to press my cheese, as he promised to do in exchange for my milk, he would not!
Gepetto: Oh my poor Pinnochio!
A
Gepetto
A: Bah! Pinnochio! How will you make this right?
Gepetto: All I have to give you is this little glass marble wich means the world to me.
A
Gepetto
A: I suppose that will do.
(A takes it and leaves)
Gepetto: You'll have to scuze him on a count a he's only wood.
(rest)
Little wooden head someday you’ll be real.
(Finds lunch box)
Geppeto: Well look-a-here this is one snazzy box. Seen some kids a couple of times carry their lunch to school in these. This'n is a bit too rich for my blood. I couldn't imagine a mindful parent breakin' the bank for something like this on their own. Kid musta threw some kind of tantrum.
(rest)
lotta folks' kids are spoiled. the woodcarver never had to worry about that
with Pinocchio. After he burnt off his feet and the woodcarver fixed 'em, the puppet decided
to go to school just to repay him. Only problem was that Pinocchio didn't have an ABC book. Everyone knows you can’t go to school without an ABC book.So the woodcarver sold his overcoat to pay for that ABC book.
(rest)
I tend to overheat easy. My old coat was just a bit much and I kind of like the fresh
January breeze. And though the freezing rain tands to burn on the face, I
suppose it does keep me alert.
B: Gepetto, Gepetto. have you heard what your puppet has done.
Gepetto: Tell me what my dear Pinocchio he has done.
B: Your terrible puppet sneaked like a sneaky sneak into my woodshed in the night and chased my rooster until it nearly died of fright and then he axed my cock! Now my hens will not lay, and I have no eggs and I have no money to buy food for my family, I’ve already lost my wife.
Gepetto: Oh my poor Pinocchio.
B
Gepetto
B: Bah! Pinocchio! How will you make this right?
Gepetto: All I have is this Barbie lunchbox which means the world to me.
B: I suppose that'll do.
(exits)
Geppeto:You’ll have to scuze him on account a he’s only wood.
(rest)
Little wooden head someday you’ll be real.
(rest)
When the woodcarver handed the book over to his gentle son, the boy's face
was a beamin'. That smile was warmer than the man's old coat anyday.
(finds rib bone)
Jiminy Cricket! A rib bone! Too small to be a whlaes, but much too large for a cat... hmmmm...The woodcarver carved him a runner that ran away and was lost, so the woodcarver gathered his things and his cat, and went a-lookin' for the puppet. He looked high, he looked low, he looked long, he looked short, he looked deep, he looked shallow, he looked up, he looked down, he looked left, he looked right, he crossed the street. He looked forward, he looked backward. He became a Buddhist and looked within, he found a window and looked out. He looked everywhere, and that's a lot of lookin', and still could not find his puppet. So naturally, he went to the ocean. Damn I hate the ocean. The ocean killed my cat. Little Figaro was mighty tasty, loved to bat at the fish, so he musta understood when I took a bat at him. He found himself inside a whale, musta been a whale, it was mighty big, and swimmin'. And in that great whale he looked high, he looked low, he looked long, he looked short, well, etcetra... he looked everywhere in that whale, and that's a lotta lookin', and there was no Pinocchio to be found. But with all that time to himself he had plenty a time to learn the art of tap dancin'. He'd always wanted to learn. He tap danced his heart out in the whale on a piece of broken raft, and sardine cans nailed to his shoes. I’ve got no strings, shuffle ball change, shuffle ball change, I had strings but now I’m free, there are no strings on me. And he shuffle ball changed his way through two long years in the whale.
(enter A)
A: Geppetto! Geppetto! Have you heard what your puppet has done?
Geppetto: Tell me what my dear Pinocchio has done!
A: Dear Pinnochio indeed! Gepetto, your puppet is an ass! He charged my vegetable cart and overturned it, and my vegetables went flying everywhere, all the dear little brussels sprouts, trampled and crushed. Not an unbruised tomato to be found when your terrible donkey was through with it. All of my precious squashes squashed! And how he gored my glorious gourds! How I and my wife have sacrificed for my glorious gourds!
Geppetto: Oh my poor Pinnochio!
A
Geppetto
A: Bah Pinnochio! How will you make this right?
Geppetto: All I have to give you is this rib bone which means the world to me.
A: I suppose that will do.
(A takes it and leaves)
Geppetto: You'll hafta scuze him on a count a he's only wood.. Little wooden head someday you’ll be real.
Gepetto: ( picks up a deflated Sock’’em Bop‘‘em, reads label, slowly) Sock’’em Bop’’em, huh, suppose you use it for bopping. Never been too keen on the violence. Some people like it, use it whenever they get in a pickle. Or like with their kids. I never had to hit my boy, felt like one time, but never did.
(rest)
Gepetto: Baby steps, hafta start somewhere right.
(rest)
Gepetto:Show em how ta walk and they take off running, that Pinocchio. He was born a runner. The woodcarver was just too old ta keep up, but the boy ran his nose straight into the police, literally, and bought enough time for that woodcarver to catch up to the little splinter. Wooboy, when he did his face was redder than a berry with a beesting. Hard to tell if it was from fatigue or because he was just plain pissed off. He grabbed that puppet by the back of his neck, called him everything but a child of God.
(rest)
Gepetto: That Officer, he got the wrong idea, musta thought woodcarver was hitting the poor boy. Arrested him right on the spot.
(B enters)
B: Gepetto, Gepetto have you heard what you puppet has done.
Gepetto- Please tell me what my dear Pinocchio has done.
B: He raised an legion of locus and attacked my village, then he raped my fields and pillaged my wife and daughters!
Gepetto- My poor Pinocchio.
B
Gepetto
B: Bah Pinocchio How will you make this right.
Gepetto: All that I have is this deflated Sock’’em Bop’’em which means the world to me
B
Gepetto
B: I suppose that will do.
( B leaves with deflated Sock’’em Bop’’em)
Gepetto: Tou’ll have to ‘scuse him an accounta he’s only wood. Little wooden head someday you’ll be real.
(Rest)
Gepetto: You know, a week in jail will sure straighten a man out. Specially when he didn’’t do nuttin. The woodcarver spent every minute of those seven days thinking of a way to make it up to the puppet.
(A and B enter)
A: Geppetto!
B: Geppetto! Have you heard what your puppet has done!
Geppetto: Oh my dear Pinnochio! Tell me what he has done!
A: Your puppet is no longer a puppet! Pinnochio is a real boy!
Geppetto: oh my poor Pinnochio!
A
B
Geppetto
A Woman: No! Geppetto you don’t understand! Pinnochio is a boy!
Geppetto: All I have to give you is this… I’ll find you something… just rest a spell…
(goes off digging)
B
A
B
A: Look at him diggin for something to pay us with. Does he not recognize that we are here with good news.
B: He’s so used to dirt by now it might as well be his missus. He’s been dragged through it by that boy all along. Spends all his time cleaning up after that naughty child. Pays everyone back with bits and bobs. T’sall he has.
A: They mean the world to him.
B: Don’t really know why we thought he’d be happy.
A: So used to bad news can’t get the good.
B: He gave up everything for that troublesome puppet! His food, his buisiness.
A: Loved that puppet like a son…
B: His house…
A: “You’ll hafta scuze him on a count a he’s only wood”…
B: His cat…
A: … that’s what he’d always say…
B: …he even had a fish once
A:… “you’ll hafta scuze him on a count a he’s only wood” shuffle ball change…
B: … But Pinnochio overturned the fish bowl and it died…
A: … and when Pinnochio ran away…
B:… never thought of himself
A: the man was devastated… loved that puppet like a son, he did..
B: gave up his dance lessons ….
A: Never thought of himself
B: gave up his coat
(enter Geppetto with hands full of dirt)
Geppetto: All I have to give you are these handfuls of dirt.
A
B
Gepetto
Gepetto: ‘Tsgood for plantin.
A: We do not want your dirt Gepetto
B: We just thought you’d like to hear about your boy is all.
Geppetto: Hold on… just rest a spell, I’ll find you something better. I’m sure I saw (mumbles as he digs off some more)
B: We should do something
A: we should
B
A
B
A
(they exit)
Geppetto: You’ll hafta Scuze him on a count a he’s only wood…
(end)
